My Bucket List

So in Sunday school the other day I was greatly challenged by a man who’s name escapes me. As his plane is about to crash, the man creates a list of  101 things he would want to accomplish if he wasn’t about to die. After surviving the crash, he begins to complete the things on his list.

I decided it would be cool to create my own list of things that I would like to one day do. I might come back now and then and add to this as well. These are in a random order.

1. Sky Dive

2. Go to at least one country on each continent (If I’m able to go more places, I’ll be happy) I definitely want to visit Italy, New Zealand, Hawaii, Japan, Great Britain, Canada, Peru, Brazil, Israel, Greece, Spain….. the list could go on….

3. Get a tatoo

4. Start a ministry connecting musicians to needs

5. Mountain climb

6. Learn to surf

7. Scuba dive

8. Ride in a hot air balloon

9. Start a photography business on the side

10. Have photos displayed in a art gallery

11. Go to the ballet

12. Buy a Steinway piano

13. Learn how to glass blow and create some glasses

14. Get a chocolate lab

15. Parasail

16. Go on a cruise

17. Jump off a cliff into a body of water

18. Hike through a rain forest

19. Get married

20. Have children

21. Write a book

22. Write in some magazines

23. Work for a Christian label

24. Take media pictures for bands

I’m getting tired so that’s all for now.

Acts 16

Some things stuck out to me as I read this passage….

First it hit me how even when there are bad circumstances, God can change them to good ones. In Thessalonica as well as Berea, people stirred up trouble for Paul and he had to leave both places. The bad circumstances were turned by God to directing Paul to Athens, where he was given the opportunity to share more openly.

“And he is not served by humand hands, as if he needed anything because he himself gives all men life and breath, and everything else.” (v.25)

Second, no matter what happens, God has us wrapped in His arms and will take care of whatever we might need.

“….and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.” (v. 26)

No matter where I am on life’s journey, God has determined times for things to happen. He has set the places where I will live and what He wants me to do.

“For in him we live and move and have our being.” (v. 28)

 

Without Christ I am nothing. No matter what I decide to do, if it isn’t what God wants for me, I will be horrible. Without Christ I am dead!

These are some of the thoughts I had while I read this passage.

Struggles I’ve been facing….

First Struggle: Being patient and waiting….

With both of my best friends getting married this summer you could imagine how I must feel about finding the guy for me. Although I thought SBU might provide a guy and a ring by spring I’m almost ready to get out of here and ready for my refund! Seriously, I have met some terrific friends and the experience here has really strengthened and stretched me. I have always seen myself as a wife and mother, but right now I realize it isn’t in God’s upcoming plans for me. I think God waits for the most ridiculous moment in which to surprise us with marvelous miracles and I am sure that He has the greatest moment in which to introduce me to that person God designed with me in mind. Until then, I wait patiently, quietly and expectantly.

Ready to graduate…..what now?

This is one of the scariest but most thrilling times in my life! I’m getting ready to graduate. May can’t get here soon enough but as I look ten months from now I have no idea what I’ll be doing or where I’ll be! As I talked to my friend Robyn recently she gave some great advice: “Do what you want to do now or you might not get the chance to do it.” This advice propelled her to spend six months abroad in South Africa where she had a great adventure with God!

As I think of the potential to plan my own adventure I’m not sure what I’ll do or where I”ll go. I would really like to spend a few weeks traveling the West Coast. I want to start maybe in Seattle, Washington and then head south from there. I definitely want to spend time with my cousin in Oregon and the family I have in Cali. I would love to spend a few days in San Diego enjoying the downtown atmosphere that I was exposed to coming back from Baja, Mexico. It’s just a thought but I would like to do this before I start a job anywhere.

Another thought is where I’ll end up. The ordeal of sending out resumes in the spring semester and interviewing for jobs seems a little scary to me right now. I’m hoping that my dream job–doing PR/Marketing for Christian bands/record label–will open up exactly at the right time, but I will be satisfied with wherever God leads me to go. I really have given some thought about this next phase and really don’t want to move out of STL unless I was to go to Nashville, but will if I hear God calling me somewhere else.

Third struggle…..finances.

I guess this is the hardest of my struggles that I am facing right now, although this struggle hasn’t just reared its ugly head. I have made poor financial decisions before coming to Bolivar and SBU and thought that I could get by on my own but to no avail. My mother has since set up a budget that I am struggling to maintain. Once I move out of the apartment I currently have this struggle will be a little more managable but until August 22nd comes, I will have a hard battle. I’m excited about this next year and how my mom has given me the guidance I need to get back on my feet. Although I’m sure I’m not out of the tunnel in this circumstance I have begun to see the light at the end of it.

Through all of this, God is constant.

I have seen God shine His brillance and light in my life several times before, but I think recently He has shown me some profound truths. My faith in Him has strengthen so much in the past few weeks that I can’t imagine what would happen if I didn’t have Him to turn to.

“Trust the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

God has shown me that although I have crossed the line of faith and trusting Him countless times, many of those times I have kept one foot outside of bounds just in case things didn’t work out. I have learned that to be whole-heartedly trusting God is the best place to be. God will not let me fall but will guide me. When we give up and let me guide us, He will show us the next part of the path that we need to see at that time. He won’t overwhelm us but will give us what we can handle.

For those who are having some struggles I encourage you to listen to the song “In Your Hands” by Krystal Myers. God gave it to me just a moment ago and really encouraged me.

I hope to get back on this soon and update about what God is doing in my life....until then....Nicole.

Wow…time flies….no matter if you’re having fun or not.

It’s been a while since I’ve actually posted on here! This semester is almost gone and with that are some memorable memories with my friends and family. I thought about writing in detail about my trip to Thailand or about the trip I made during spring break to Baja, Mexico to work in an orphanage, but decided not to. There are too many valuable things to write about now and I know I’ll never be able to play catch up!

I have one more year of school! One…..soon…..I’ll be writing on here how I’m looking for a job and how I’m graduating! I’m really ready to get to the next phase in my life but at the same time wanting to throw some magic and make time stand still.

Whats ahead is uncertain…I only know what’s now and I’m deathly scared of facing the unknown. I have a dream job I want to work toward to but will I be satisfied if I simply work my way up to it?? Do I have the patience?? Do I have what it takes to market and publicize bands?? Would I be good at that??

Another thing I’m scared about when I look to a year from now is being alone. As my younger sister Audrey gets married in June and Robyn gets married in August….I begin to wonder when my prince charming is going to find me?? These two girls are my best friends!! They have found amazing guys and I’m afraid I’m being left behind in a way (which I know will be impossible for these two to do to me). I already have friends who are married and it changes things. Instead of planning around two schedules, you have to plan around three (mine, hers and his).

When I came to SBU I knew it had the rap for “a ring by spring.” Did I mind? No! But as school’s end draws near I’m looking for my refund! Many of the guys I have met here have become great friends but I haven’t seen any of them wisk me away to a happily ever after!

That’s my banter for this evening…..I guess I’m just scared……

and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

A New Year……A New Season

Since this is the end of the year I began to think about the year ahead, the challenges, the surprises, the new adventures….all of it! As I thought of it more, I remembered the verse in Ecclesiastes about how there is a season and a time for everything.

There are some exciting things around the bend (or year) for me. My best friend and sister will be married in June and will begin a part of her life. An old friend will become a mommy which makes me feel a little old (hehe). I start the final stretch of school and look to the future where I will find a new job, a new place to live, etc. I will be journeying to Mexico and Thailand (I leave for Thailand tomorrow!!).

With all these exciting things coming up that I already know about, I know that God will have much more for me this year. I need to remember that God will help me through any challenges I might go through, any heartaches, any troubles. I need to remember that there is a time for everything and be prepared for what God has for me!!

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:     a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”                                (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

Thailand….here I come!

Thursday I leave St. Louis for 19 days as I embark on an exciting journey to Thailand. Ten other wonderful people will be going with me and I’m so excited what God has in store for me.

This is my first mission trip since graduating from high school and I’m really excited about it! Especially the location….it’s Thailand! Although I have been preparing for this trip for over a semester, it still feels surreal that I will be in Thailand ministering and loving on people for nearly 19 days!

I never thought much about going to Asia and now that I’m on this mission team and going to this location, I cannot think of anything better to do with my time.

I am nervous about the flights. I have never flown and although I know it won’t be too bad, I’m still going to feel uneasy at least the first flight to LA.

There are several things I’m extremely excited about…here’s just a list of a few things….meet my aunt and uncle in LA…..ride an elephant……get to know my teammates better and become great friends with them…….love on the kids in the elementary schools we’ll be teaching English in…….bamboo rafting……..showing love to those who probably do not feel genuine love…….getting to fly…….taking TONS of pictures………getting to experience a new culture…………building relationships with the Thai people I will encounter.

Please be in prayer that we will be a light and show genuine love only God can give.

Why do I feel so old?

Today I went to my friend Kim’s baby shower and I began to ponder why I feel so old……maybe it’s because I’m not carefree….maybe it’s because I’m in college and have a lot things that demand my time….maybe it’s because my younger sister is getting married soon……maybe it’s because my friend from childhood is going to have a baby…..maybe it’s because I am…

The one thing I wish I could change would be the ability to be carefree. In high school, I was able to hang out with friends whenever and sure I usually didn’t have any money to do things I wanted, but now I have more demands on my money and I still don’t have the money to do things I wanted.

Ahhhhh…..when will those feelings of being carefree ever come back again?

Valkyrie

Tonight I had the opportunity to view Valkyrie with my dad and brothers. As I sat and watched I wondered “what if.” What if Valkyrie had actually been a success? What if Hitler had been killed? What if the resistance took over and surrendered earier to the Allies? What if WWII was over earier? What if?

I watched the movie and of course routed for the underdog, knowing the end to the movie already–the men and women who fought for the true Germany would die at the hands of their German brothers–they would not win. Although Valkyrie was a disaster I’m sure it brought unsatisfaction to other Germans. They probably saw that Hitler’s ideals were not those of German people or the country and that Hitler was evil.

The movie was good although it was slow in the beginning. Tom Crews brought the lead character to life and the whole cast did a wonderful job as the main characters lived a double life in the movie.

I think those people who were involved in Valkyrie brought hope to Germans who did not agree with Hitler and what he stood for. I do think that not only the movie allows us to remember those who risked their lives in Valkyrie, but those nameless people who resisted and payed dearly for what they believed in.

Comments on “Irresistible Revolution”

Reading this book has challenged me greatly. I first picked it up because it sparked my interest in being a real, genuine Christian. I also read much of it and wrote a book review for The Omnibus, the school paper at SBU. Although the book is not very long, it took a great deal of effort to get through it; I have been busy with my semester and to my dismay didn’t have the time needed to complete the book.

Today, however, I finished the last chapters of the book and became not only challenged as well as saddened at some of the comments within the book, but somewhat confused. Shane Claiborne is a true, genuine Christian who wants His love for Jesus to penetrate any barriers and hurts someone might have….whether gender, race, ethnicity, culture, etc. I can see how he believes that peace is a way people can see Jesus….but is Jesus only about peace and love???

I think that we could never be able to understand the full aspects of Jesus and yes, He did show love in unusual ways. I think that God wants us to show scandelous grace and to be loving to our enemies, but I’m confused if that is all we as followers of Jesus are supposed to demonstrate.

Jesus show his anger when He drove the money changers from the temple….do we have a right to show anger? Do we have a right to put a murderer to death? I think Claiborne is right in many aspects but I’m not sure Jesus would approach situations as Clairborne would.

Right now I’m not sure how to digest the book. I really felt challenged throughout it but as I neared the end of the book it seemed that the author might have overstepped what Jesus had spoken about and God had outlined in the Bible…….right now all I can say is that God will have to direct me to the truth and clear up my confusion.

Fall is upon us…..

So life has taken has been pretty busy for me in the past few weeks since I last posted. Tests, assignments, articles, work and time have all passed while I have been living my life. It’s amazing how time flies when you are having fun!

I have given up my uneasiness to God to take and lead me where He wants. When I think about it, I still get somewhat nervous but I know that He has me in the palm of His hand.

I have realized how much I enjoy hanging out with musicians and interviewing them for the paper. The semester I have had the opportunity to interview Robbie Seay, Scratch Track and Sean Michel. I like listening to how they tell me about how they write their music and how they use their music to glorify God. I would like to have the opportunity to work with artists and give them more opportunities for them to share Christ with those who don’t know Him. Maybe God will eventually allow me to do this but until I feel Him leading me in a direction, I’m going to stay put.

An exciting thing happened–Anberlin came out with a new CD! I hope that I will post a review of it soon, but I don’t have time to do so now. I will post a selection of lyrics I absolutely love and the think that it is somewhat of my life motto:

Burn Out Brighter:

“Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something

Facing towards the heavens
I fell into a pitch black
I’m moments from landing and I’m shaking like a heart attack

Is the time, can I turn back
I’ve made mistakes in the past
Need a chance, can’t take it back
Wish I could set things right tonight

Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something higher than myself
Live and die for anyone else
The more I live I see this life’s not about me

All I know spins out of control
Wonder what’s next for heart and soul
Nothing I earned can save me now
Hearing one day be my final hour

Is the time, can I turn back
I’ve made mistakes in the past
Need a chance, can’t take it back
Wish I could set things right tonight

Live, I wanna live inspired
Die, I wanna die for something higher than myself
Live and die for anyone else
The more I live I see this life’s not about me

Don’t wanna leave this world knowing I preach in vain
Looked out for myself, so sorry so ashamed
Don’t wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried
Chased all my dreams that I can’t weigh on the inside

Live, I wanna live on fire
Die, I wanna burn out brighter
Brighter than the Northern lights
Wanna live to feel the daylight
The more I live I see that this life’s not about me”

I hope that my life will mean something and I will always live a life to glorify God!!