Struggles I’ve been facing….

First Struggle: Being patient and waiting….

With both of my best friends getting married this summer you could imagine how I must feel about finding the guy for me. Although I thought SBU might provide a guy and a ring by spring I’m almost ready to get out of here and ready for my refund! Seriously, I have met some terrific friends and the experience here has really strengthened and stretched me. I have always seen myself as a wife and mother, but right now I realize it isn’t in God’s upcoming plans for me. I think God waits for the most ridiculous moment in which to surprise us with marvelous miracles and I am sure that He has the greatest moment in which to introduce me to that person God designed with me in mind. Until then, I wait patiently, quietly and expectantly.

Ready to graduate…..what now?

This is one of the scariest but most thrilling times in my life! I’m getting ready to graduate. May can’t get here soon enough but as I look ten months from now I have no idea what I’ll be doing or where I’ll be! As I talked to my friend Robyn recently she gave some great advice: “Do what you want to do now or you might not get the chance to do it.” This advice propelled her to spend six months abroad in South Africa where she had a great adventure with God!

As I think of the potential to plan my own adventure I’m not sure what I’ll do or where I”ll go. I would really like to spend a few weeks traveling the West Coast. I want to start maybe in Seattle, Washington and then head south from there. I definitely want to spend time with my cousin in Oregon and the family I have in Cali. I would love to spend a few days in San Diego enjoying the downtown atmosphere that I was exposed to coming back from Baja, Mexico. It’s just a thought but I would like to do this before I start a job anywhere.

Another thought is where I’ll end up. The ordeal of sending out resumes in the spring semester and interviewing for jobs seems a little scary to me right now. I’m hoping that my dream job–doing PR/Marketing for Christian bands/record label–will open up exactly at the right time, but I will be satisfied with wherever God leads me to go. I really have given some thought about this next phase and really don’t want to move out of STL unless I was to go to Nashville, but will if I hear God calling me somewhere else.

Third struggle…..finances.

I guess this is the hardest of my struggles that I am facing right now, although this struggle hasn’t just reared its ugly head. I have made poor financial decisions before coming to Bolivar and SBU and thought that I could get by on my own but to no avail. My mother has since set up a budget that I am struggling to maintain. Once I move out of the apartment I currently have this struggle will be a little more managable but until August 22nd comes, I will have a hard battle. I’m excited about this next year and how my mom has given me the guidance I need to get back on my feet. Although I’m sure I’m not out of the tunnel in this circumstance I have begun to see the light at the end of it.

Through all of this, God is constant.

I have seen God shine His brillance and light in my life several times before, but I think recently He has shown me some profound truths. My faith in Him has strengthen so much in the past few weeks that I can’t imagine what would happen if I didn’t have Him to turn to.

“Trust the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

God has shown me that although I have crossed the line of faith and trusting Him countless times, many of those times I have kept one foot outside of bounds just in case things didn’t work out. I have learned that to be whole-heartedly trusting God is the best place to be. God will not let me fall but will guide me. When we give up and let me guide us, He will show us the next part of the path that we need to see at that time. He won’t overwhelm us but will give us what we can handle.

For those who are having some struggles I encourage you to listen to the song “In Your Hands” by Krystal Myers. God gave it to me just a moment ago and really encouraged me.

I hope to get back on this soon and update about what God is doing in my life....until then....Nicole.

~ by nicoleonamission on July 10, 2009.